The Onion

Please note that the nature of our work at The Onion is meant to be anonymous, so only a selection of my headlines are listed below. If you would like to see more of them please get in touch.

• Baskin Robbins Cash Register Interface Just Big Button For Ice Cream

• Special Guest At Sea Lion Show Just Another Sea Lion

• Office Bad Boy Sees Right Through Teambuilding Exercise

• Man Can't Unsee That McDonald's Logo Just Big 'M'

• You Can Hold Snake, Owner Reports

• ‘Back To Dock' Voted #1 Most Popular Destination Among Current Rowboat Passengers

• Kindergartener's Account Of Day At School Passionate, Incomprehensible

• Server Loves That Dessert

• Starstruck Man Can't Think Of Anything To Say To Cruise Ship Hypnotist In Breakfast Buffet Line

• Gun Safe Combination Eventual Victim's Birthday

McSweeney’s

• The Thin Blue Line Flag: The Artist’s FAQ

• I’m Afraid of the Far-Reaching Effects of Cancel Culture, and the Bad Dreams I Have About Spiders

• Blood Diamond Capital Is Part of the Solution

Paper Darts

• Looking for Help

• Homebase